Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 11:18 PM
what would (the) men do
must we always choose between the two. career and family. spend an entire day out with my brother today and looking at how things are now, i can’t help but wonder how lucky the child would have been. but then, another thought stroked me: would my brother be where he is now with a family?
how would i want my life to be. actually i think girls get it worse than guys. a married women are considered more liable then married men. so i went back to visit my cousin at her showroom (and to steal her wireless connection =) we never fail to have gossip sessions. so i was told one of her sales staff is pregnant and she is thinking of getting a new replacement. so lets assume that this replacement brought in more sales for the company. when the pregnant woman returns after some time and looking at the great sales record of this new girl she feels threatened and yet she will not be able to spend so much time with the clients and over time any more because of the new born baby, how can she cope with both responsibilities and not jeopardise any. so my cousin said that even though she may empathise with her friend there is nothing she can do. ultimately the person who brings in the most sales for the company is more valuable. so if there comes a day, touch wood, if my cousin’s firm is not doing well, maybe the older girl will be cut first.
are we always at a disadvantage. from my observations, thus far, a mother never retires but a father can retire with glory, returns home to the wife and still be served. a mother, never the bread winner does not mean her contribution to the family is any less. yet her work never stops. she never stop worrying about the family, it may not be money that she is providing for the family but what she gave to the family may be far more valuable. but sometimes because it is not money she brought home this effort may not be as glamorous.
we live in a society where hierarchy is defined by how much money you possess. i have set a goal for myself. i want to earn my first million before i am thirty. whatever my lifestyle will be in the future this is my goal. there are times when i think that having a family and all that is great, a place to belong to, not dying lonely and all that. but thoughts of becoming a never retiring mother is just too traumatic. some of my friends say that i’m just living in denial since children seem to have a general liking for me and all (that nonsense). people around me like to play this game: who among us will get married first. hah. my brother competes with me, my friends all like to play this silly little game. it is always interesting to let ourselves be surprised =)
i digress.. from what i have said women not only have to struggle in the world of cunning men, plenty of women are fighting among their own species for these cunning men. i am going to generalise for now. this brings me back to childhood sweethearts/crushes. as a looked through my stack of old old letters, i wonder how he is doing. he still lives behind me and the thought of him brings back smiles. a cute neighbour. his charming smile can melt the hearts of half the girls in the school. a star player in basketball and i had the geographical advantage of being his neighbour and coincidentally his classmate. hah. you know why it brings back smiles now. well for one, i think i get very oblivious over such things. i will never know or want to know until you tell me. but that's not the point, my point is: i do not know why many girls like to flock towards one guy but guys (at a certain age) are okay with many (type of) girls as long as they are willing. i have a friend that tells me: as long as she is not too ugly and she shows that she is interested in me i will not mind going out with her because i am always at the winning end. THERE IS NOTHING TO LOSE. are things so much easier for the guys? i wonder..
