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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 - 7:44 PM

turned my entire room topsy turvy today. looks great now and another holiday task done =) things sure look great so far. i threw away the christmas tree today. surprise surprise. i thought i never would had the heart to put it into a plastic bag. but i did it. like the golden pot at the end of every rainbow - beneath the christmas tree has lots of secrets of the past wrapped up nicely with purple paper. things that i never think i would open again. its irrelevant to talk about how i feel cause all of you might have guessed considering what a sucker i have been dealing with all these stuff. so taking a look at the letters, notes even gifts (i actually kept the light sticks that was used to line my name :). i can’t help but feel - if these presents were to be put up for display at that time when i received it would they feel happier, would i feel happier. well there were many stories of the past that i can boast about. but i never did display everything out because i thought it was unnecessary. now, i think: if i were to glamorize my addiction would it make my drug feel appreciated. have i done enough? am i really not good enough?

on a lighter note: have i ever shown you my tigger collection!? i have so many winnie the pooh stuff, cannot believe myself.

and while going through one of my many note books i saw this thing that i copied down from some book (possibly from paulo coelho):

It’s just enough to love him, to be with him in my thoughts and to colour this lovely city with his steps, his words, his love. When I leave this country, it will have a face and a name and the memory of a fireplace. Everything else I experience here, all the difficulties I had to overcome, will be nothing as compared to that memory.

Everyone knows how to love, because we are all born with that gift. Some people have a natural talent for it but the majority of us have relearn, to remember how to love, and everyone, without exception, needs to burn on the bonfire of past emotions, to relive certain joys and griefs, certain ups and downs, until they see a connecting thread that exists behind each new encounters.


i wonder whether i can be so rational when it comes to love. but if everyone does this - i think the world will be so beautiful.

watching the tv today, i can’t help but smile when this woman said to the guy: you had me at hello.