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Friday, January 26, 2007 - 11:39 PM

maybe i don't know you at all...

private messages on msn can be misleading or blatant at the same time. what so interesting about it is that it is always a victim of misinterpretation. i guess (for me) it may be a matter of convenience-what i am saying will never be what you are thinking. there are times when people expect an 'acceptable answer' so i give it to them. the "audience" dislikes what comes as "matter out of place".

anyway this is not the main point of this rambling. my late nights are back in full throttle. life seems to be getting back to very busy but... hmm nevermind well at least i'm more disciplined in my school work. back to the main point: on the private message it says - focus on what you want.

another aside. maybe its the late nights or even having too many things on my mind resulting in i-am-stoning-mode: in a middle of a conversation, while trying to concentrate on something. and the "want" for me to snap back into reality is close to zero.

this stoning might be due to my inability to want to face the reality. wanted to shout it all out. the sight of the private message hypnotizes me. i stare into it and think: am i an objrct of want all along. history things have become. what do i want. why can't everyone know what they want and work on it. it is the people that you love so dearly that gets hurt when you decide to forsake something that you have convince them about. please remember never ever change a person's conviction when you yourself is not sure what you want. which i know under normal circumstances: tough.